Sunday, 22 November 2009

Red, red wine...

So, Sartre said that hell is other people. Actually, I think it was "L'enfer, c'est les autres" - but it's a passable translation.
She would like to amend this, however. Turns out hell is other people... coming outside at the moment when The London Loves is JUST about to be kissed by Uni Boy after a night full-t0-bursting of flirting. A little bit of luck would be appreciated!
It was a brilliant night, fuelled with cheap red wine (which, it has to be said, she didn't appreciate quite so much the next morning. Or afternoon, for that matter). Lots of fun with lots of old uni friends. Okay, it was meant to be a networking event - they just chose to network with each other, that's all!
What was slightly curious was that, after she walked in late and said hello to a friend she'd not seen for a while, said friend (who was a little more than friends with her at uni shall we say...) immediately turned around to fetch Uni Boy. And announce The London Love's arrival. Interesting. He looked massively pleased to see her (for those of you with dirty minds - shame on you) and they proceeded to chat for most of the evening.
"Chat" in this instance meaning "flirt quite outrageously". The talk wasn't just flirty, it turned downright dirty, the blame for which she is laying fairly and squarely at his door. But it WAS kind of fun.
They all left the bar, feeling slightly worse for wear, and headed (okay, swayed) to another pub. And it was here, dear readers, when they were illictly smoking outside, that there was very definitely a moment. And not, if you've been watching Miranda on BBC2, a made-up moment. Nope, this was a bona-fide, realer-than-real, okay-she-can't-remember-completely-she-was-that-drunk-but-nonetheless MOMENT (possibly with gropage. DAMN that red wine).
And then.... friend #2 walked out. Let's hope Uni Boy hadn't had to send him a "save me" text! Shit. He hadn't had to send him a "save me" text, had he??? We'll assume not, as Uni Boy's still talking to her. But as far as the night went, that was indeed that.
Are things really meant to be this frustrating??? All part of the rich tapestry of life and all that. Sigh. It's been pointed out to her that dating is also about the dry spells, but really, is it meant to last quite this long? She even read somewhere how it's meant to be about "spiritual enlightenment" and "finding yourself" when you're busy being single. Sod that.
In other news (which she needs to distract her from Uni Boy) - the Famous Five boy from work is newly single apparently. Woo hoo! Bring on the work christmas party, and quite possibly the strapless black dress with s+m overtones she saw in the shops this weekend...

Monday, 16 November 2009


These are the rules. She will be amazing tomorrow. Funny, friendly, freckly, down to earth, a little bit sexy but not scarily so. We’re talking lip gloss and masses of mascara, rather than buckets of eyeliner here and ample amounts of boobage. She will have a drink in her hand at most times but she will not, note NOT, be drunk. Not until the post-drinks-drinks, that is. She will have lots of great things to talk about, and will make it sound like she has done a lot more fiction writing than she has. If there are any exceptionally good-looking men there she will be chatty but slightly aloof and mysterious. Her legs will look fantastic. She will stand up most of the time to maximise that. She will network relentlessly and get lots of people's cards which she probably won't ever end up using. She will exude confidence, intelligence and wit, with a little bit of minx-ness thrown in for good measure. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL SHE TRY TO FLIRT WITH UNI BOY.

Friday, 6 November 2009

Non-date #2

Or.. the continuing saga of The London Loves and Uni Boy

Hmmm. Perhaps "saga" makes it out to be something more than it is. But here's the thing. She went out to see the documentary with him last night and had an amazing amazing time! Everything is there. He's such a great guy (yeah okay... pass the sick bucket etc), they're so chatty together, and it was a lot of fun. Why then, can't she get her head around the fact that, for now at least, they're just friends?

She realises that talking about this does very much make her appear like someone on a trailer for He's Just Not That Into You Too (which has to be the name of the sequel, right? Slightly grammatically wrong but I'm sure that won't bother them too much). It is an unfortunate by-product of this whole situation. With that little warning, let her dissect the non-date. Okay, last time when she said there was no chemistry, no fireworks? That may have been a teeny lie. Or he was having a bad day, whatever. Because this time? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee-BANG (that's her best approximation of a Catherine Wheel, btw. Do bear with her, it's been a busy week).

Then somehow, within 10 minutes they were talking about porn. Writing it, that is, for money, rather than just talking filth. Um. But still. What's that all about? Luckily it was time to go in for the film then so that particular line of conversation wasn't followed! She had to try a little bit to concentrate on the film, but it was good. They had sensibly gone for "middle" when asked where they wanted to sit, though she did notice a cheeky look and eyebrow raise from Uni Boy when the nice cinema lady said "back row".

And then there was dinner, in which her internal temperature managed to rocket up to about 50C creating a rather special "glowy" look to her face. Beacon-like, it may more accurately have been described. Girls? Sometimes there is such a thing as TOO SPICY and TOO MANY LAYERS OF CLOTHES. A valuable winter lesson for us all.

Ooh she forgot to say, thanks to the Twitter friends for advice on clothes to wear ( for anyone who's not on there!). She went for - skinny jeans, grey fake-Uggs (fuggs?), slightly low cut top, scarf and coat. Oh and a floaty cardigan. Hence the overheating. Was not just proximity to the boy, honest gov. Apart from the temperature issues, it was mostly a good look. She may have shamefully slightly leaned over the table a few times too. That's allowed, right?

And what did they talk about? Everything. Anything. Lots! They talked about buggering off to India for Christmas. Together. About writing, about life, about love. He's only just ended a relationship, and it lasted for quite a few months - but hey, at least this could explain why she hadn't seen him much! He seems every-so-slightly bitter as a result, although that could well be sex deprivation symptoms, if she's reading him as well as she thinks! Oh dear.

Which could end up leaving her in a bit of a pickle. Being friends is one thing - they get on so well and they've known each other for years. Being "special friends" is not somewhere she wants to go, thanks very much. He's adamant he wants to get "very drunk" at a uni meet up thing, appropriately enough, the week after next. And equally adamant that he wants her to be there, and to go out somewhere afterwards.

And that is where we leave them, him giving her a kiss (on the cheek!) on the Tube as she saunters off in search of a little air conditioning.

It was a great night. However, she's having difficulty reading this. What about you?