Thursday 6 August 2009

A kiss on the lips is better than none...

Sorry to paraphrase Florence&The Machine there. But there it is. A kiss (can a peck be called a kiss?) at the tube station is what she got on date three with Daniel. It lasted all of... oooh, half a second?
She doesn't want you to think she is obssessed with kissing boys. Which is not remotely true. It's just that this is all very sedate, all very new to her. Really, you don't want to know what happened on the first date with the ex in a very public place. And going from that, to having fantastic dates but with no physical contact is just a little bit odd.
There's been no hand-holding, no nothing. They had a few drinks by the Thames, and the skies had the good sense not to unleash gallons of rain overhead. He'd bought her a copy of his favourite book, which looks cool and was a beyond-sweet gesture. Don't worry, it's not the Bible. Or the Kama Sutra for that matter. Things would probably be looking a tad different if it were either of those.
The truth is, she still doesn't know what is happening here, or if there is a spark. She was kind of hoping a kiss would help her to decide. But surely a spark is a pretty obvious thing? They definitely get on. He is definitely cute (especially when he smiles). He also has Nice Hands. He also comes out with random facts, like that dipping cucumber in sugar makes it taste like melon. These things are all VERY important indeed.
She was bed-bound earlier this week (in a non-kinky way) and ended up watching a heap of Sex and the City, in true girl-cliche fashion. And there it was, said loud on the screen for all to hear - Carrie echoing her thoughts by admitting: "I'm lonely." Well kids, there it is.
It probably didn't help then that the ex sent a really lovely text to her last night, saying that he still cares, even though they're not together. True, she doesn't want to be back with him. But it sometimes hits her, right in the middle of her stomach, that she really is on her own (marvellous friends aside, of course. However, they tend not to have manly chests that are just right for sleeping on).
The whole thing confuses her, which will no doubt make this a rather convoluted blog post (plus she's been sick, so bear with her!).
On the one hand, she is beyond happy being single. It makes absolute sense, as she is figuring out her life and finds that so much easier to do being on her own. Plus, she's had too much experience in the past of being with the wrong person and feeling horribly stuck. It's fun, and she gets to spend time with her favourite person (herself).
And yet. And yet sometimes she has this idealised view of what it would be like to be with this perfect guy, who would somehow just float down and make everything alright. Realistic, hey?
Let's see what happens when she sees Daniel tomorrow. Her fabulous friend D has suggested getting him horribly drunk. Her wise friend K has said maybe he is an old-fashioned gentleman... and that we're just not used to that. She may just be right, you know.

4 comments:

  1. you can't tell if there's chemistry until you neck... but does he touch her at all? is there random hand holding and stuff? does he touch her waist when they turn corners?

    either way, date four needs to involve like sitting in a park on a bench or whatever so the opportunity to neck in a non pressurised environment arises. (aka not the couch of your bach with the bed right there ;)

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  2. I think you should feel some sparks even if you haven't kissed yet.. but yes, by the third date he should try to do something.. I know one guy I dated, I eventually couldn't take it anymore and after 5 long dates, I initiated a kiss.. he was just too shy..

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  3. I can happily report back that there IS chemistry, and that he knows there's a right and wrong way to hand-hold (amazing! nothing worse than someone who does it the back-to-front way!). I think getting anywhere beyond kissing is possibly going to take me the next decade, but will let you know! nothing wrong with shy boys at all. but sometimes... sometimes a girl needs a throwdown!

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  4. I feel like I am in the exact same position. Just out of a long term relationship where I felt... stuck... and waiting for that perfect guy to swoop in. Still waiting... Something tells me that settling would be worse than the waiting but ask me in a few months...

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